With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe
Once upon an evening dreary, I took a tumble, weak and weary,
Over huge amounts of books that I had purchased from the store.
On a shelf, I’d been restocking a bio of Stephen Hawking,
Then I fell, it was most shocking, loudly crashing to the floor.
“I’ve so many books,” I said, “that cleaning is a chore.
I cannot live like this much more.”
One could tell with just a look I was an avid fan of books.
They really had me in their hooks; I was always getting more.
And I knew upon the morrow my intention was to borrow
A book on Kilimanjaro from the library next door.
Although I had so many, I still always wanted more!
My shelves were full, so was my floor.
Now the massively gargantuan size of my valued collection
Chilled me – filled me with a feeling I had never felt before.
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I kept repeating
“I’ve so many books, stacked so high upon my condo floor!
They’re taking up so much space; I can barely see the door.”
I had a lot to answer for.
I lay there ‘til I grew stronger, my head resting a bit longer
On a book I’d yet to conquer (it was Game of Thrones book 4).
And just then I heard a knocking. I was only slowly walking,
Feeling like I was sleep talking, squawking through my condo door,
“One moment please, I’m coming!” – Then, when I opened the door,
It was the nice girl from D-4.
I guess she had been overhearing; I stood there, perhaps appearing
Nervous or maybe endearing? We’d never spoken before.
She asked, “What was that commotion? From such noise I had the notion
That you might have set in motion a small accident, or more?”
Then she entered and, astonished, stammered “You’ve got books galore!
Do you mind if I explore?”
And soon she was discerning the books in my condo churning.
Its appearance was concerning; it looked more like a bookstore.
She said “Please don’t find me critical, but this mess isn’t livable.
Have you tried going digital? There’s an app to explore…
Let me find it on my Android phone; it’s free from the Play Store!
It’s an app—and something more.”
With a deft and dexterous tap, downloading Kobo’s reading app,
She put her phone within my grasp, but I wasn’t sure what for.
“Welcome to my reading haven, neighbour and Book-Loving Maven,
And please do not think me craven, but what, for me, have you in store?
Tell me what this app can do. Will it clean books off my floor?”
Quoth the Maven: “You’ll read more.”
I said I liked print books mainly, and thought eReading ungainly.
(Although books take up space, plainly, which I really do abhor.)
But then my eyes were seeing a five-dollar credit being
Offered for simply agreeing to try one from Kobo’s store,
From any genre I wanted, priced at $5.01 or more.
Less than I’d have paid before!
Then the Maven, smiling gladly, on the Android phone tapped madly
On the screen, as if she couldn’t tell what I was waiting for.
“Look at this, it’s quite nifty! They’ve got eBooks for the thrifty,
Daily Deals, the Top 50, and eMagazines galore.
Read risk-free for 14 days, then you can subscribe for more.
So get in on the ground floor!”
“Come on now, you must be joking,” I said as I began poking,
Dazzled by 4 million titles – actually, even more.
I thought back to last September: not yet a Super Points Member,
I could have earned some, had I signed up then, for Game of Thrones book 4.
If I’d only known back then about the Super Points Rewards!
VIPs earn even more.
“Watch,” she then said, smiling, and she then began compiling
A full Reading List beguiling, of eBooks, previews, and more.
I fell on my sofa sinking, and incredulously thinking
About Automatic Syncing, I’d never seen it before.
Leave a bookmark on just one device and it will save to more—
And the Maven reads on four!
In the app, to my surprise, to make things easier on my eyes
I could increase the typeface size or make it smaller than before.
And in the darkest light of day, I could brighten the display
Or even read the Night Mode way; features I could not ignore.
“No printed book can do this,” did the Maven underscore,
“I don’t know what else to ask for!”
Then she showed me Annotations— they were cause for celebration!
I could share Picture Quotations; create highlights, notes, and more.
So, feeling somewhat daring, and with only quick preparing,
I enabled Social Sharing and it opened up a door
To tell my friends who love books on social networks galore
About the Kobo eBookstore!
Soon we sat engrossed in reading a story on court proceedings
From a leading magazine, which halted at page 24.
With one tap, the app went finding my next page without divining,
Nor with any loss of timing. I could keep on reading more.
The Guided Reading feature: just what I’d been waiting for!
I wished I’d found it years before.
Then I found my breath grew shorter. For so long I’d been a hoarder
Of trade paperbacks, hardcovers, first editions by the score.
I said, “This app is quite amazing! But at my books I am now gazing;
My collection, I’m appraising. All these books! What did I even buy them for?
What should I do with these volumes collected from before?
Do print books matter any more?”
The Maven laughed, seeing my face. “Paper books won’t be replaced
By eBooks filling up your space. In fact, I think they’re great décor.
But with Kobo’s app you cannot lose! You’ll always be able to choose
Between the two, don’t get confused! It’s not a case of either/or.
But think of your next holiday: will you bring one, or four?
In the app, there’s room for more.
The truth is you love reading, so my advice you should be heeding.
Don’t make me stand here pleading, get the app from the Play Store!
Of course you’ll still read books in print, but eBooks won’t cost you a mint
So why don’t you just take the hint? Try one you might fall for!
Your next great read’s a tap away; I bet that you’ll find more.
Kobo’s got them by the score.”
The Maven made as if to go, and then my heart was filled with woe.
She loved reading even more so, and thus we shared a nice rapport.
“My Reading Life won’t be the same. You have set my heart aflame,
And I don’t even know your name! Can’t we talk a little more?”
Then the Maven gave a smile as she glanced back through the door.
“You can call me Eleanor.”
From the author: I created this ode to the Kobo eBooks app to encourage people who love books to give eReading a try. I own large collections of both print books and digital ones, and believe that it’s OK to love both. Thank you for reading! You can find me on Twitter as @jacquaman. Download the Kobo eBooks app for Android here.